A Masochist's Lullaby
by Hudson Halliwell
Summary: When Xena starts having violent dreams about her nemesis Alti, things quickly spiral out of control and Alti gains the power over Xena that she's always wanted. Brief femslash, intense violence.
1. She Knows Me

**A Masochist's Lullaby**

**Chapter One – She Knows Me**

Xena could feel her limbs being torn slowly from her body, along with the few remnants of life still clinging to her. Helpless and ravaged, the proud Warrior Princess was now a bloody heap on the floor, struggling to even stay on her knees. And above the fallen warrior stood Alti, her most dangerous enemy, a smirk plastered all over the shamaness' chillingly skeletal face.

"Where's that power of yours now, my Xena?" Alti growled. She had her claw-like grip to Xena's throat, putting the usually stronger woman at a significant disadvantage, and Alti loved every minute of it. She wasn't about to let go now; her most sought-after fear was, after all, that which had always eluded her: the fear of Xena.

"I'll tell you where that power is, Xena – right here," Alti pressed a hand to her robed chest. "Everything that's ever made you who you are - your delicious darkness, your vicious fire, your cunning mind - it's all here with me now. You've failed, Xena… and you'll spend the rest of eternity in the afterlife paying the price." Alti laughed and raised the broken Warrior Princess high above her head, tightening her grip as Xena's neck turned to jello in Alti's hands. Xena could only gurgle and spit blood as her senses dimmed and the world went black.

Suddenly, Xena heard a voice that pulled her from the death and chaos she seemed to be all but drowning in until now.

Xena opened her azure eyes to find her companion, Gabrielle, above her. Xena stirred, "Gabrielle? What - what happened?"

"Xena, you were just dreaming." The bard looked at Xena through those same loving eyes that could console even a warlord. "Was it that same nightmare?"

"Yes. Alti had me beaten and had stolen my energy - there was nothing I could do." Xena stared into the crackling flames beside her. "I was totally helpless, Gabrielle."

"But Alti's been dead - Yakut helped us destroy her soul. Do you think somehow Alti could be haunting your dreams?"

Xena did nothing to hide the sensation of dread she felt like a cloak over her. "It's entirely possible, isn't it? Callisto did it to me years ago, you remember. But there's no guilt this time around; Alti has nothing to go on. She lost most of her powers after we defeated her in India, but…" Xena trailed off in her own thoughts, aloof to the worried Gabrielle who sat beside her.

Gabrielle shifted uncomfortably, sensing Xena's worry. After all these years, the steely Warrior Princess was like an open book to her. "But, are you afraid that she could return somehow?"

"Gabrielle, you know how powerful Alti is. If there's a way, even after her soul's been annihilated, I wouldn't put it past her to discover it."

"Xena," Gabrielle was stern now. "Do you remember what Naima said, back in India? Alti will return many times, but you'll always beat her. Even if she does return somehow, someway - she won't win."

"I know, I know," Xena laid back down on her blanket, staring off into the stars. "I just doubt it sometimes. She has a weapon against me that no other enemy has." Xena looked at Gabrielle and paused, embracing the warrior bard with a cold blue stare.

"She knows me, Gabrielle."


	2. Truly Alive

**A Masochist's Lullaby**

**Chapter Two – Truly Alive**

Xena and Gabrielle set out at dawn. They weren't sure where they were going; as usual, they just followed whatever warlords or gods set a path for them to follow. They were walking down an ordinary dirt road when something very out-of-the-ordinary happened.

Xena suddenly collapsed to the ground.

"Xena! Are you alright? What's going on?" Gabrielle began to panic, fruitlessly offering her friend comfort.

"Gabrielle – it's Alti – she's inside me," Xena sputtered before she collapsed, unconscious.

Xena awoke to find herself in some kind of floating, energy-like dimension. She couldn't move as if she was held up by invisible shackles, and she didn't have her armor or weapons. In fact, she was completely naked. "What – where am I?"

Suddenly, an all-too-familiar growl made itself known. "Welcome to your soul, Xena." It was Alti, materializing out of nowhere. She stood proudly in front of Xena and smirked haughtily. "Like what I've done with the place?"

"Alti! What's going on here? Where's Gabrielle?" Xena struggled to break free from the unseen grip that held her, but to no avail.

Alti scowled. "Don't bother struggling, Xena. I have all the power in here. This may be your soul, but it's my lair now. I think you need to learn that." Alti raised her hand and in it, a whip materialized. She raised the whip high and down again, cracking it repeatedly against Xena's bare skin. The Warrior Princess just hung there, helpless to defend herself. With each crack of the whip, a new wound opened and revealed more blood, the sight of which excited Alti in a most visceral way.

"Now," Alti hissed, slithering up close to Xena, "I think we understand each other."

"Alright, Alti," Xena said with bravado, shaking off the pain, "I get it. But tell me, how did you get into my soul? The Amazons…"

"The Amazons were fools!" Alti grabbed Xena around the throat and leaned in close, her face looming mere inches from the Warrior Princess'. "You know what I feed on, right? Fear. Well a while back, as an insurance policy, I cast a spell to tether my own soul to yours. And there my power slept, waiting to awaken and be reborn – and here I am. It's only a matter of time before I become powerful enough to escape to the real world, and then I'll be truly alive again."

Xena's face darkened. "So you used my dreams to cause me to question my own abilities as a warrior, and you fed off of my self-doubt from within me."

"You're so smart, Xena. But you're playing my game now, and I hold all the chips." Alti chuckled and walked backward menacingly, though never breaking eye contact with Xena. The two women had a fierce history between them; they knew each other like they knew themselves. And yet, there was something more. Something deeper. Something that neither of them could deny.

They lived for this.


End file.
